Can we talk about this, please?

Here's what I think about this picture:

1.  HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHA

2.  HAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA

3.  Seriously?!?! No, wait. Seriously.

4.  I hate her.

5.  Can I be her?

6.  Whatever, I am her.

7.  HAHAHAHHAHHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

8.  Those statue things are scary. 

This lady does not do the Mom Car.  This lady does not consider "me time" to be sitting alone in her car in the grocery store parking lot eating a to-go pack of falafel.  Furthermore, this lady does not almost choke on said falafel and then quickly take inventory of the puddles on the ground to see which ones would be sufficient to drink from if it really came to that.  Some people do things like that.  This lady does not do things like that.  I'm just guessing.   

I mean, this lady wears evening gowns when she reads to toddlers. 

Part of me thinks, "You go, girl!  You read that book with that fancy dress on while standing on that stain-free green carpet! You own that shiz!" And then the other part of me, a slightly bigger part of me, says "Dear Jesus, please let that darling little angel baby throw up all over her and her fanciness so that she's, at the very least, forced to change into a different fancy dress, one that's a little less stunning, and is late for whatever ball she's headed to after the kids go to bed. Amen."

I know. I'm terrible.  I'm Fab-Shaming.  This lady is just minding her own business being fabulous and here I am wishing vomit upon her.  I'm sorry.  

And she really is fabulous.  She's Kelly Wearstler.  I know she's beautiful, talented, businessy, sparkly...that sort of thing.  But seeing that she's all those glamorous things and an equally glamorous mom?  I JUST NEED A MINUTE, OKAY?!?

And yes, I know it's one of those stylized, magazine-y type photos that everyone likes to look at because it's so outrageous and beautiful and impossible and perfect.  I know she probably doesn't read to her kids like that.  I mean, she's holding the book in one hand and a child in the other, so you know turning the page ain't happening.  And toddlers don't wait patiently on pretty green poufs in real life.  I know it's not really real.  So my question is why?  Why are photos like this allowed to exist?  And if they are allowed, can there at least be a rule that for every one photo that you publish of yourself reading to your kids in an evening gown, you must put out two that show you falling down stairs or sneezing or something?  

Kelly, please, PLEASE, if you're reading this (ha, like she's not reading this)...STOP IT, I say! Except I know you can't because that's kind of your thing.  But you'd reeaaallly be doing us mediocre folk a solid by showing us all the hideous boils we know you're hiding.  Just once.  Mmmmkay?  

Thanks, Kel, you're the best.