Around the Target in 13 minutes

Had a little situation yesterday.  Thankfully, no one was hurt, but I will tell you that it was a pretty close call.

Walden discovered jeggings.

~

It went like this:

3:47 pm:  Walden and I enter Target.  Happiness abounds.

3:52 pm:  We find ourselves in the baby department (you'll want to remember this part for later).

3:55 pm:  I spot something out of the corner of my eye.  I pick it up.  I am suspicious.

3:55:10 pm:  I look around to make sure we are, in fact, in the baby department and not, in fact, in the Snookie department. 

3:55:15 pm:  I inspect pair of jeggings.  Pair of jeggings has tag that says "Size: 9 mo." I am holding baby jeggings.

3:55:15 pm - 3:57 pm:  I am incredulous.

3:57:05 pm:  Walden grabs jeggings out of my hand.  I am not quick.

3:57:07 pm:  Walden and I have brief conversation about not being ready for this jelly.

3:57:20 pm:  I help Walden with this concept by removing jeggings from her grasp.

3:57:21 pm:  Happiness ceases to abound.

3:57:21 pm - 3:59 pm:  World War III

3:59:01pm:  

 

3:59:56 pm:  I ask Walden if she even cares that everyone in Target now thinks that I'm buying a pair of jeggings.  For my baby.

3:59:59 pm:       

 

4:00 pm:  I ascertain that the answer is "no." 

Like I said before, crisis averted, but just barely.  Thankfully, someone walked by and told Walden she was cute, so while she was posing for them and basking in their adoration, I did away with the jeggings without further incident.

But seriously...jeggings?  For babies?  I don't think I'm ready for that jelly.

Annual Review

Name:  Walden Nicole Scribner
Date of Hire:  7/20/2010
Job Title:  Baby

The following is a 360 review of Walden's performance in the position of Baby from 7/20/10 to 7/20/11.  

Areas of Strength:  We applaud Walden's efforts and superior performance in Smiling, Giggling, Squealing, Being Cute, Clapping, Bathing, Feeding Lucy, Going Places, Batting Eyelashes, Getting Dirty, Rocking Out, Giving Hugs, Giving Kisses, Cell Phone Operation, Scoping out Danger and Lunging Towards It Fearlessly, and General Manipulation of Supervisors.

Areas of Opportunity:  We hope to see Walden beef up her efforts and performance in the area of diapering.  In Q1, Q2 and Q3, Walden was focused and team-oriented, but finished out the year being less of a team player than we had hoped.  While we are happy that Walden has mastered the art of wiggling like a deranged squirrel, we encourage her to find a more appropriate time and place to do it other than while diapers are being changed.  As with diapering, Walden's attitude seemed to become more unpredictable in Q4.  While she generally exhibits a positive attitude most of the time,  when faced with certain challenges (such as getting her face wiped, getting hugged by the wrong parent or having bows put in her hair) she can become more...shall we say...aggressively vocal than we would prefer.  While we appreciate that such willfulness is also an asset in many ways,  we do recommend that Walden let her mama put bows in her hair, because that is what mamas do. 

Summary:  Walden is a valued member of the Scribner Team, and we have decided to renew her contract for the coming year and to promote her to the position of Toddler.  Congratulations, Walden!

Signed,

Head Supervisor

promoted

walden + big fish

hot date. separate rides.

walden's world.

party time.

excellent.

polka dot party

cupcakes with just one pink dot look like boobs. add more dots.

yum. maybe.

presents.

hugs.

giggling + grammie

secrets, secrets are no...well, actually, secrets are pretty fun.

being a mommy is hard enough when the baby is fake

cold

for those about to rock, we let our daddies dress us

wee

Happy Birthday to Walden!!

the happy birthday girl

more posts and pics to come...

xoxo

For Real

How long has it been?  Two, maybe three months?  You know, time flies when you're a Real Housewife of Fairfield County.  Between living luxuriously and being fabulous, I simply haven't had the time to blog.  Let's see...where to begin?  There was the month we spent in St. Barts (pronounced sin BAAAHHTS, if you're wondering) and really, darling, preparing for a trip like that is nothing but work.  The house manager must be notified, the staff must be organized, the couture must be packed...the sort of thing that no one wants to do, but someone has to make the sacrifice! 

The next month was spent roughing it in our penthouse in the city.  I know, I know...what's rough about a Central Park view and dinner every night at Jean Georges?  Well, you try living in a mere 4,500 square feet and then tell me that you don't spend half your time in bed recovering from claustrophobia and the other half sending the house boy out for Xanax and oxygen imported from Switzerland.  It's no picnic, darling, trust me.

And well, the rest of our time has been spent attending benefits for the poverty-stricken underbelly of Greenwich (those poor souls who make less than $250k, God bless them) and coordinating the expansion of the aforementioned penthouse.  Oh, and we did make a quick jaunt over to London at the end of April for the wedding of some friends of ours (although I was terribly upset that a certain someone and I were wearing the same tiara. I know at least one stylist who is out of a job!)

So there you have it...all work and no play, as you can see.  Such is the life of a Real Housewife...

baby in sheep's clothing

superbaby

puppy in waiting

green bean facial

roly poly

Easter finery

baby, i can see your halo

jazz hand practice

clapping practice

posing for closeup practice

ready...set...

smile

 

Digital Short

I spend a lot of time documenting the goings-on of Walden's everyday life.  I take pictures, I jot down notes in her baby book, I take videos...the usual stuff parents do to remember these precious days that go by way too quickly.  I want to remember every single, little, tiny moment of her life and, consequently, I have about 2.6 million pictures stored on my computer (and that is just since Christmas).  Do I go a bit overboard?  Perhaps.  Do I really need to keep every single picture I take, even the one where her eye is closed, her foot is blurry, and her nose could use a little housekeeping?  Yes, absolutely, I do.  Because those are important moments.

But what about parents?  Who is there to document all the sweet little moments of a new parent's life?  No one, that's who.  And I'm fine with that, mostly.  Because that would mean that I'd have to apply makeup on a regular basis and wear stuff that doesn't involve elastic and really I can't keep that kind of breakneck pace for more than a day or so.  But sometimes I do wish that I had a picture of the times when James and I sneak into Walden's room while she's sleeping and stare and her and smile stupidly at each other.  Or a video of the moment when I've rocked her to sleep and she's making little sleepy noises and I can kiss on her face over and over again and she doesn't even wake up.  Moments that I just want to bottle up and save forever. Every once in a while, either James or I can grab the camera at just the right moment, like this...

snuggle bug

...but it happens very rarely, especially since our girl is constantly on the move these days.  I love pictures of moments like this because then, a long time from now, when Walden is 17 and she asks me if she can stay out past 7:30 just this once and I tell her no, that nothing good can happen at that ungodly hour, and she screams at me and runs to her room and slams the door and blasts an aged, 23 year old Justin Bieber on her iPod,  I can flip through those precious, quiet little moments and remember when she used to need me to cuddle her every once in a while.

But thanks to the advances in technology, there are ways that we can recreate other special moments in our lives as new parents so that we can cherish them forever...

  And then we realize why the show is called Teen Mom, with drama and babbydaddies and punching, and not Appropriately Aged Mom, which is pretty much a snoozefest and apparently involves James wearing a really tight green v-neck, which no one needs to see.

So let's just get back to the regularly scheduled programming and be thankful that there are no camera crews following me around...

up to no good

sweet

first food

avocado face

miss independent

mmmm

big girl

Happy New Year!

The last few weeks of 2010 were pretty eventful over here in Walden's world...

we sported legwarmers (cue theme from flashdance)

we donned our gay apparel and posed in front of the Christmas tree

we got kissed under the mistletoe

we won staring contests with jake

we were totally unimpressed with santa

we were very impressed with grandpa fenton

we got toys from santa

we got hugs from aunt jennifer

we had our first snow day

And so far in 2011...

we had another round of Christmas with grammie and boompa

we were very serious about opening presents

and also very silly

we decided that lucy is more fun than presents

see?

we were wistful (while sitting, our newest trick)

we chewed stuff (with teeth, our newest things to chew stuff with)

we bundled up

and we wore cute hats

We were a little sad to see 2010 end; after all, it was The Year of the Butterbean!  But we can't wait to see what 2011 holds.  And plus, I have a feeling that every year from here on out will be the Year of the Butterbean :)  Happy New Year, everybody!