If I've learned anything in almost five months of parenthood, it is this:
Babies, though cute and infinitely lovable, are not to be trusted. Neverevernosireebobnotonebit. Nothing but con-artists, they are. Adorable, pudgy-faced, rosy-cheeked little con-artists. And they're good. Oh, they're real good. Take Walden, for instance. One minute I'm watching her do this whole heart-melting routine where she's making eyes at me from behind a teething ring and saying things like "aahh mmmm pppfff" - really laying it on thick, you know - and next thing I know I'm in a sweaty, confused and sleepless heap on the floor with tweety birds circling over my head.
She'll spend hours buttering me up with this move...
...but behind those innocent, blue eyes, she's hatching a complex plan to wake me up at least 12 times later that night. Or she'll turn on some Oscar-worthy waterworks during what is supposed to be sleepy time and as soon as I enter the room to soothe my distraught child, I am greeted by this...
And my heart melts all over again and I am caught up in her carefully crafted web of trickery.
Long story short, my super sleeper of yester-month has taken a few steps backward in the ol' shut-eye department. She turned 4 months old and poof...gone are the days of six, seven and eight hour stretches at night...we're back to a mere 3 to 4 (it's only temporary, please say it's only temporary). These are desperate times. And this is what happens when mama gets on the internet while she is desperate...
It's Baby Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit. I had to buy it. It had the word magic in the title. And it really is magic.
It magically makes your baby look ridiculous. Sleep? Not so much. Walden knows it and I know it, but still we hope.
Babies, though cute and infinitely lovable, are not to be trusted. Neverevernosireebobnotonebit. Nothing but con-artists, they are. Adorable, pudgy-faced, rosy-cheeked little con-artists. And they're good. Oh, they're real good. Take Walden, for instance. One minute I'm watching her do this whole heart-melting routine where she's making eyes at me from behind a teething ring and saying things like "aahh mmmm pppfff" - really laying it on thick, you know - and next thing I know I'm in a sweaty, confused and sleepless heap on the floor with tweety birds circling over my head.
She'll spend hours buttering me up with this move...
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| la la la just playing with my feet because i am cute |
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| did i wake you that is funny also i am cute |
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| innocent little angel or brilliant scam artist? |
It's Baby Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit. I had to buy it. It had the word magic in the title. And it really is magic.
It magically makes your baby look ridiculous. Sleep? Not so much. Walden knows it and I know it, but still we hope.
I suppose being a parent is kind of like living in a snow globe. Just when things get all nice and settled, something (or someone) comes along to shake things up and send us flying. Plus, sometimes you feel like you're drowning while being hurled against rounded glass.
But, oh, isn't it beautiful...yes, it is.
